Sharing the little moments that make my life beautiful!
"The joy in motherhood comes in moments. There will be hard times and frustrating times. But amid the challenge, there are shining moments of joy and satisfaction."
--Elder M. Russell Ballard
I don't have a lot of pictures of myself. The pictures I take are most often of my kids or a project. Sometimes I get the Mister in a picture and sometimes I get one of us together, but very rarely is there just a picture of me.
I'd like to remedy that. I want my kids to look through old pictures and see me growing and changing with them.
The following pictures were not taken with the intention of posting them here, but once I looked at them they made me so happy that I had to share!
I was folding the laundry that was piled high on my bed. My little man, W (who, by the way, is now a very busy 18-month-old toddler), was playing on the bed and I pulled out my camera to capture his sweetness.
But, he didn't want to be in front of the camera. He was much more interested in what was happening on the back of the camera. So, I pointed the camera at myself and took some pictures of myself for him to see.
He giggled and clapped and smiled for each new pose. Some of them, he even mimicked and then laughed some more.
It was a fun and playful moment.
What really struck me when I was looking back at the pictures was that the simple thing bringing him so much joy was me. It wasn't the magic of the camera, it was the joy of looking at my face!
He was seeing a face that loves him. Every day. Every second. No matter what.
A face that takes time away from the mundane laundry to play with him.
I am his mother and something about these pictures reflects how special and powerful that opportunity is. I will watch him grow up. No, more than that, I will be beside him as he grows and learns...as he fails and tries again and succeeds. I will teach him love. I will teach him strength. I will teach him kindness and joy.
I will struggle. I will get frustrated some days and I will fall short many times. But, I will always be there for him and his sisters. And, they will always be my joy.
I was sitting at my desk, quietly minding my own business, when I noticed some movement outside my front window.
I glanced over just as the doorbell rang and a hooded figure dashed away!
Hmmmmm....
Should I open it?
I took the risk...and thank goodness I did!!
This mysterious little package was sitting quietly in front of my door. Judging by the subtle smell of peanut butter, I knew that this was the kind of thing worth bending over to pick up.
The card was creatively addressed to me and my family.
And the words inside were uplifting, fun, and so kind.
Doesn't it feel sometimes like life is just out to beat you up?
Yeah, me too.
Sometimes I just want to sit my life in the corner and say, "You sit there and think about what you're doing. Come talk to me when you can be nice."
That wouldn't work, though. I'm afraid I am learning that life is supposed to be hard. It's how I learn.
Dang it.
The other night, I was standing in front of the mirror talking to myself getting ready for bed and pondering over the day, when I noticed what I was doing.
I was analyzing my face and the things I was feeling about myself and telling myself weren't very positive.
"I look worn out."
"I look so tired."
"I don't think my efforts are getting me anywhere."
"I'm not that important."
"I should be doing better."
Geesh. Hard stuff.
And, you know what? Most of it isn't true!
"Be Gentle With Yourself"
My mom tells me that a lot. Slowly but surely, I'm learning what she means.
I decided to try something new...a new perspective.
"I am worn out because I'm a good mom with 2 young, beautiful, and amazing daughters."
"I am tired because I work very hard to support my fantastic husband through school while running our home and raising her kids."
"And my body is working hard to create the little body of our little boy."
"Because of my efforts, my daughters know that they are children of God and he loves them."
"Because of my efforts, my husband knows he is a son of God and he has value."
"Because of my efforts, lives and worlds are being impacted that I'm not even aware of."
"I am a good person."
"I am so important."
"I can always do better, but I am doing amazingly well."
"God loves me."
A simple change, but a strong impact.
You should try it. Take some time to be gentle with yourself and see what a strong and loved person you are! Then keep on making the world a better place.
My Mister is on a much needed break. He has been in nonstop school for the last year and now finally is in the midst of an almost 4-week break.
And what does he want to do with that break?
Well, we've been spending a lot of time at the park. We've been eating dinner as a family. He and I have been staying up late catching up on movies and favorite TV shows (Psych, anyone? Grimm? Once Upon a Time? Survivor?...). We've been hanging out with friends. We've been talking a lot. We have maybe been laughing a little. I haven't been cleaning the house as much as I used to. He's been doing the dishes! =)
It's been exhausting! The good kind of exhausting, of course.
Oh, and we've also been looking for a new house. Yeah. Remember when I mentioned the sudden rush of things to be taken care of? When the Mister finishes his PA classes at the end of summer, he will be ready to start his rotations: the last step of his education before he has to take a big scary test and enter the real world as an official PA.
We had anticipated that he would be assigned to do those rotations in a city that is about half an hour from here...the city we do our shopping and stuff in. You would think that I would have learned by now that when I make plans something always changes them! He was assigned instead to a city that is about an hour and 15 minutes north of here...much further away. For convenience (and money) sake, we have decided to move up there. It's just easier.
Here's the kicker...he starts his rotations on August 27. Baby boy (W) is due on August 19. Mister's finals are August 13 -17. It's a little crazy.
But, no worries. Arrangements have been made to induce labor and we are hoping to move in July. All is well, and we are excited for a change of scene, but expect a little craziness now and then. (Do you like how I say that like that would be something new?)
Anyway, I digress. I was talking about how nice it has been to have him home. It makes me think how nice it would be to have this set up all of the time. Of course, that's not how life works. We have to be responsible.
Have you ever seen Into the Woods? It is one of my all time favorite musicals. It is full of so many little life lessons and it is super fun to sing along with.
Here's a song from it that has been on my mind:
Now, please don't assume that I'm trying to say I would like a "prince for...whatever." Really using this song is a reach for the point I'm making, but it was a good excuse to listen to a good song. =)
Still, If our lives were only made up of beautiful and extraordinary moments, would we appreciate them as much? Do we give the not so beautiful moments of life enough credit?
Life really is made up of little moments. Sometimes they can seem so boring and ordinary and we forget to see how beautiful they are. I have to remind myself to step back and look at the moments of my life. The things that make up me...the things that make me happy, or even sad for that matter...the things that make me feel and try to appreciate them for the gifts that they are.
So, I'm starting my Moments series.
And in honor of Mother's Day (which I know I'm late for), here is a moment of mommyness from my life.
L is 2 years old and lives up to that in every way possible. She is a feisty little fireball with a beautifully sweet personality. She is a joy.
This is our tradition. I am cooking dinner and cleaning up the house.
She comes in and assumes this position:
Then she says, "Again, Mommy!" and I say, "Ready...Set...Go!"
And she goes!
From the living room a few seconds later, I hear "Again, Mommy!"
